My time in Warsaw has come to an end

last days in Warsaw - Poland

My time here has been really good! I've gotten to know so many awesome poeple here and just experienced hospitality and being welcomed on a whole nother level.

At Wilanów caste with Rachel

Being here has been a healing process and not necesserily an easy one. But I have to let new things happen, especially as I am in a season of change - my suroundings, myself and my outer being seem to be all changing at the same time. It's definitly dificult to see everything changing but it is good to know that God is in it eventhough I sometimes wonder where He is and where all of this is going to lead me.

Yesterday we were having a little BBQ with a couple of people from the YAM group I am attending and church. And one lady was then talking about how when we movve from one place to another there is always something that we will leave behind, something is sort of ripped out of our heart and is replaced with a part of the place and we have to let it happen and go through the grieving process of loss to let God make something even more beautiful and that our heart can grow bigger. While she was saying that I had a picture in my head that looked something like this:

(Let the hole be replaced by something new,
something even more beautiful eventhough it hurts)

Other from that this week is still going to be full of last visits and last days in school, including sleeping in school with grade 7 and just helping out whereveer I can. And by the end of this week I'l be back "home" (I'm not exactly sure what to call "home" anymore, it seems like I have so many homes by now) to be reunited with my family again - finally I have time again to talk to them face to face and catch up with my sister and spend time with her and my parents.

A lot has happened since I've started this blog, so much that it is almost mind blowing looking back where I was when I first started this and where I am now. My life has definitly changed for ever - dramaticly. I don't know where...but God knows. The only thing I really have to do is to trust Him and let go.

CONTRASTING EXPERIENCES

"having a bed to sleep in...
...having to  sleep on the floor
having to worry if you have enough food...
...being able to buy foor from the supermarket next door, whenever you want
having a big enough house to host 20+ people...
...looking for space to fit 5 people in a 3m^2 room/hut
having to wear the same set of clothes each day...
...not knowing what to choose from your closet
having two cars ready to get going...
...trying to find the shortes path to walk
having a thankful heart for every penny you find...
...freaking out where the 10 extra dollars went
having a warm or cool house depending on how you like it...
...coping with the freezing cold or dying heat
having to care for the people surrounding you...
...caring as little as you can about your neighbor
having to go to another family meeting...
...being able to meet the remaining family
having to try to get all children to school...
...irresoluteness of choosing the perfect school
having to remind yourself to be thankful for every little and big thing you've got...
...appreciating the little you've got."
~SAYA R.

I think often it's just a question of perspective, but I don't really know which life circumstances are easier to live in. It is shocking for me to catch myself thinking "I deserve this or that, I deserve living the life I am living" - eventhough I know better deep down in my heart. I know that this isn't the attitude I want to live life. Especially after being in Kenia for 3 months and experiencing to have little, sleeping uncomfortable but also seeing people having a lot less then me. Now being back in Europe it is hard to comprehend my experiences and how to deal with it wisely, to move forward.
I want to live a life being thankful for what I have, not wanting to have the attitude of needing more but praying "Lord, use my life to be a blessing and teach me how to use what I have wisely."

Meanwhile in Warsaw

buildings in Warsaw

As I wrote in my last post I am in Warsaw right now. It has been an awesome stay so far. Okay it has been wonderful and I do feel really blessed that I am able to be here and do the internship here.

Last week was more an oriantatin week of looking in which I want to go and what is possible. I ended up picking grade 5 and 11 Maths and grade 6 and 11 English, but I'm helping out in other grades and also in primary school (grade 3). I've even been able to teach my first 'real' leasson this past friday in grade 5 and have been able to help out in the other classes to and will actually help out in grade 7 in English talking about Canada what should be fun.

Apart from my internship my mom was with me the first week and we had the opportunity to go shopping in a really nice shopping mall called "Arcadia" - it's quite big, has a great food court, a big variety of shops and great window instalations. Also we had the opportunity to go to a ladies retreat from ICF Warsaw were I got to know some really amazing Ladies! Our speaker Karen was great as she was speaking about HOPE and it gave me many thoughts to ponder on and also tipps of how to get through pain, hurt or dissapointment (of which I am still batteling with). It was a great time of community and being able to enjoy some of polands beautiful nature.

two horses pulling our carriage

spring in Warsaw

After my mom left I just got busy with school and I don't even remember what else I did, days just seem to fly here, only 4 more weeks until I leave for home. So I have to try to get the most out of Warsaw and the people I got to know meanwhile. ICF also has lifegroups and one of them is on Thursdays called YAM which I have been able to go to twice so far. It's really cool to learn about the bible in this setting and just spending time with fellow believers. On Saturday we (some people from YAM) also had a little game night where we played "Castles of Burgundy" (a strategy game connected with luck) which was a lot of fun.
You can't believe how good it is for me to be in a community like this again, after leaving the international community from YWAM even though it is quite different here, but still a great experience. The other day I was able to go to the gardens on top of the university library here in Warsaw with Eszter from Hungary who I met through ICF, we had a really good time, and I am really thankful for the time we could spend together.

the view from the gardens

I'm excited for what is to come and what is awaiting me next, also how God will use all of my experiences in YWAM the good and the bad to glorify his name.

before a concert at the German embassy

Mombasa-Germany-Home and more

In my last post I posted one of my adventures, my dance adventure in Mombasa, but I had many more really awesome experiences in Mombasa, of which I could write many more stories.
One for example is we had the opportunity to go to one of the big trash dumps in Mombasa. We went there multiple times and by the end of our time we could actually see a change in the people we encountered and I know we left something behind. And through us going there now other Christians have the courage to go there and go there regularly do build deeper relationships and deciple the new Christian believers. And now to one of the most craziest stories in my life so far...
The first time we went to this trash dump we split up into smaller groups with a translator to be able to talk to a couple of people and just try to get to know them a little. I was walking around with ine of them and after talking with some ladies I wanted to talk to a man who had a restaurant, but he sent me and the translator dirctly to his wife, who had given birth to a child sometime that past night. I was kind of surprised and didn't really know why he wanted me to meet his wife and new born child. Well it turned out that they wanted me to give there son a name. As you might understand I was quite overwhelmed by this honor. So I decided to guide the conversation in a different direction to "not have to" name the baby, because for me this was a huge responsibility. But after they kept on asking me to name the Baby I finally gave in - meanwhile myhead is going what name should I pick which had a deeper meaning. So after a while I decided to name him David after my dad and after David in the Bible, because he was the lowest in the family and didn't really have a great starting point in life but ended up to have a really important and crucial role for the future which is now our past. Additionally to that David from the bible is concidered a man "after God's own heart", and that was something I wished for this child and prayed over it. What was even more fascinationg for me was that the second name they gave him was Peter, so this little baby boys name is David Peter to huge names in the bible and for me a huge blessing! And I really hope that he will one day be a man who will make a differnce, and will be able to bring hope to many more people in Kenya.
Here are some pictures from my stay in Mombasa:

a picture from Baby David Peter

blossoms from a Frangipani tree on the YWAM compound

a boat by Pirates beach in Mombasa

sunrises in Mombasa

one of the last days in Mombasa

Well after our amazing time in Mombasa was over I had the opportunity to still meet some friend in Nairobi the day we flew out and back to Germany. They we're amazing! They treated me with amzing breakfast, a crazy and really adventureous Safari walk (we got to see lions - my favourite animals - lying around 3 meters away from us, only separated by a fence) and a great lunch + Java's later by the airport.

the 8 year old orphan cheetah brothers

The flight back to Germany was good, againd a big thanks to Emirates for their great service! My family awaited me at the airport which was really nice and I was really happy to see them again after 3 months. We swopped suitcases so I had warm clothes for the cold weather in Germany. From the airport we took the train to Nürnberg. There we went to the ICF which was so friendly to take us in for the last 2 weeks. It was so nice to have a really warm shower again and we had a great kitchen, one everyone would dream of having themself at home.
The last two weeks with YWAM were O.K. eventhough I was really, really happy when I finally took the train back home after graduation. The night of graduation it self was really nice and I had a great talk with two really awesome ladies!

The next day it went home, back to my family + 1 and it was cool to have bed to myself again etc. All in all it was a good time, where I can say and I hope that I will be able to say that I can truly see Gods hand in everything. Something I really had to learn was that even when nothing seems to go right, you feel left alone, you're disapointed and/or hurt there is a God who will always be there for me and I can trust him no matter what, and I have to let go and forgive and not hold fast to things that will only amage me in the end. God will help me through it and is faithfull in bringing people in my life that will help me get through challenges. (Thanks to everyone who has helped me through challenges and everyone who just listened-THANKS) A vers that keeps carying me trough challenges is Proverbs 3,5+6:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on you own understanding, in all your ways submit to him, and he will mak your paths straight.

a german TukTuk

snowback home in the mountains during a walk with a new friend

After having time to realx a bit, meet up wikKth friends and go shopping in Austria with my mom, my sister and I went to Cologne to celebrate my birthday and Christmas together. We had a great Hotel with amazing breakfast and we could just hang out together which was really awesome! (Thanks for everything sis!)

Kölner Dom by night

on a bridge in Cologne 

On our way home I got to know two cool ladies, we had great conversations and I even was able to meet up with one of them again just 2 days ago in Paris. Which leads me to my next adventure: FRANCE - Paris
We as a family went to visit my sisters exchange family in France (near Paris) to finally meet them and just to get to knwo them. They were extremly hospitable and generous and we had a good time even though we didn't completly spoke the same languages :). I could pretty much see all the attractions there are in Paris, starting with the Eifel Tower, Sacre Coer, Mon Matre and L'arc de triumph to the Notre Dame, Verailles, the Louvre and Mona Lisa inside of it.
I can say I've seen a lot of Paris and if I am honest I don't quite understand the big hype around Paris, yes it has really famous architecture and art, but there are somany other cities in the worls that are much more beautiful and have sometimes even more to offer. Also Paris reminds me a lot of Rome and to me Rome has a bit more flair then Paris.

by the Pantheon

Versailles

by the Louvre with one of the amazing ladies from the train

We arrived at home yesterday evening and now I am already in Warsaw, ready for my next adventure: an internship in the German school here to double check if I really want to become a teacher (in an international setting). So let's see what this adventure has instore for me and what will happen next. Up to date I have been to six different countries alone this year, and I wouldn't have expected that at all last year... I was in Kenya, Germany, Austria, France, Czech Republic (on my way to Warsaw) and am now in Poland. Crazy how things work out and how God puts things in place!

January 28th - The DANCE-adventure starts (Mombasa)

January 28th started as a normal day. To be honest I didn't really wanted to go out to do ministry, but it ended up being one of the coolest days of outreach for me. It was the day I danced in front of people for the first time during outreach; even though I hadn't planned anything and didn't even bring music.
That day we had planned to go out to a few different high schools in the afternoon, and we had some time to prepare for them in the morning. The group I was in decided to go with Anne (one of our contacts for the high schools) to Likoni Boys High School. The  school was about a fifteen minute drive from the YWAM base here in  Mombasa, so we needed to take 'Tuk Tuks' (three-wheeled taxis in Kenya).
When we arrived at the school we saw a Coca Cola truck parked by the entrance of the school, and we wondered what could be going on. We the to the office with Anne to try and figure out what was happening. We ended up having to wait until all the Coca Cola craziness was finished before we could begin. While we were waiting we watched what was happening with the Coca Cola truck and the boys. It was very amusing the to watch how all of the boys went so crazy about Coke, and it made me think--am I, or are we, this crazy when it comes to Jesus? It's a good questions, and I thought I could use this question as the introduction to our time with the boys. Also, Coca Cola had arranged a dance battle for the boys on the stage they had; so I joked  with Anne about how it would be funny if I, as a Mzungu (white person), would go up there and dance. However we came to the conclusion that since I was a girl and it was an all boys school, that it would be better if I didn't dance.
But thanks to Anne and her introduction I ended up being 'forced' to dance in front of everyone. Her,  my group, and the boys were all encouraging me to dance. I said that I'd dance but only if a boy would dance as well, sort of like a dance battle. Then I got the idea of asking the whole team to dance as well, since they are the reason I was having to dance in  front of everyone. I asked for six volunteers from the students and told my team  that we would rotate between them and us, similar to one-on-one battles. In the end I asked Anne to dance with me, so that she could show of her moves. It was so much fun and it really caused there to be a more open atmosphere.
I spoke to the boys,  and after I finished off the introduction I told them that Jesus is so much better than any coke, or any drug, because he gives us life and lets us experience really adventures that are so much better  than any Coca Cola event at school.
This day started a break through in dancing for me during outreach. Before I just didn't feel comfortable dancing in front of people and was believing a lot of lies about myself and my dancing. A couple of days later the Revive outreach team from Herrnhut, who were also staying at the Base for a couple of weeks, decided to do 'Pure Heart' with us. Through this I felt how all the pressure and weight I had been feeling disappeared. I started to break out my shell and step out and into what God has prepared for me. The next day, Hannah--one of the leaders from the Revive team--challenged me to dance during worship. She is also a dancer, and could understand what I was going though with my dancing.
Since then I had the opportunity to dance my testimony dance, for the first time in front of a group of people. Looking back I can see how special that really was to me, because it was in front of children that are awaiting their court cases and are living in a rehab center. Even though I don't know what exactly they are going though, I hope that maybe through my dance they will gain hope and see how they can find rest in God no matter what situation they are going through.

Meanwhile back in Germany

- My time in Kenya has come to an end -

Since the last post, I've been to some more places, and have seen God work in amazing ways and am now feeling a lot more free to do what I love, I almost feel like I could just spread my wings and start flying wherever God will tell me to.

So we went to West  Pokot as a whole team and were moving from village to village pretty much everyday. That meant we had to build up our tents the one day, put them down and back up again the next day, and for me that was quite exhausting, additionally it was quite hot, and barely any shade, but it was bearable and we all made it through the time good. We were able to show the "Jesus" movie and "Passion of the Christ" where a bunch of tribal people came seemingly out of nowhere. It was a really nice  picture to see all of them wrapped in their blankets and later on seeing the children sleeping on the ground also wrapped in blanket by their mothers.

Also the stars were really impressing, once you stood on a field and were looking up, straight into the sky you could see many and many stars, and the longer you looked the more you could see. At the end of our time, we got a goat as a present from one of the chiefs of the area. This goat "Frank" caused some vegetarians to worry because we needed to drive about 1.5 hours to our next destination, and our two missionary friends that were our drivers weren't willing to put the goat into the cars (what I can understand). We had to strap him down on the roof of the Land Cruiser, do it the Kenyan way. In the end everything worked out and the next day one other person from our team decided to be a vegetarian after we had killed "Frank" and two other goats for a feast dinner with our new friends.

After our experience in West Pokot we split up as a team, my group went to a Baby Center to help them wherever we could. When we first arrived, we were very positively surprised! And I mean we jumped and shouted for joy in the guest house once we were alone. It was almost like a dream, we had a full working kitchen with microwave, oven etc. which we could all use and we had our own rooms, and we could have hot showers, and I mean really hot. Also the missionary family was really nice. They were good hosts, and also all the workers at the Baby Center were awesome, some I want to introduce are: Manu, the deputy manager, Mwangi the main care taker and Lynette the lady who was in charge of our guest house. She blessed many many times! She cooked for us when we were still working, she made the best Chapati I have ever eaten, and she was a huge blessing to me and our team(s). Maybe you are asking yourself, what do you do at a Baby Center and what is the Baby Center for. We did a lot of practical work, like painting many and many walls in vanilla color and it may sound really boring because painting walls can be very monotonous but actually it was a lot of fun, and I enjoyed it a lot and we had really good talks.
But we also had the chance to hang out with some of the babies from the Baby Center once in a while. And it was crazy to see these beautiful children here in the Baby Center, knowing someone had abandoned them somewhere in the area of Nakuru with the hope of either killing the child or just not wanting to take care of the child. And this was a very sad thought for me but a huge testimony of how God did a miracle in their lives, so they can live and will hopefully eventually be adopted into good (Christian) families (which is the vision of the Baby Center).

After having to say our goodbyes to the Baby Center and our friends back in Soysambu after coming back for one or two nights we had to leave for Mombasa.

We left in two Matatus, to get to our bus stop where we caught our bus to Mombasa, it was a really nice lit with black light in side, equipped with electricity plugs and fake leather seats, which were really comfortable!
The ride it self was adventurous but I could sleep even though it wasn't the best road. Once we arrived in Mombasa, we were picked up by George one of the YWAM Mombasa Base staff. We took Tuktuks to the ferry, and TukTuks to the base from the ferry. WE needed to take a ferry because Mombasa is divided into the main part of town the island and mainland where most people live, and where the base is located.
We were welcomed very warmly by the Base staff and we had a really great time with the until the last day! They were a huge blessing to us and I hope we were a blessing too. We had our little bedroom cottage and were cooked for every meal and were taken care of very well.

For me Mombasa was the best past of outreach and also the part where I grew the most. And I'm going to try to keep it short even though I could probably write a thousand pages about my time there.
but I will write more about my time in Mombasa and what i am doing now in the next blog post.

Here are some impressions from Soysambu:

on our way to Soysambu

 in Soysambu

on one of the game drives, close to the sleeping warrior

 prayer time

 Game drive

 some of the many zebras